Sunday, June 3, 2007

the trials and tribulations of motherhood and stuff

Sunday night and the heat has finally dissipated to a nice comfy temperature outside. The clouds have rolled in and the winds picked up and this dreary heatwave is on its way out the door ... I only wish for good, but alas Summertime is just around the corner here in the Pacific Northwest.

Despite the heat, the summer has already brightened up my garden with so many blooms and the colors of the Oriental poppies are inspiring me in regard to a necklace that keeps popping in my head. Hmmmm ... I'm wondering where I will find beads as red-orange as a poppy? What about Jasper?

Then of course there were the usual things a mother of a teenager must attend to. Which things are those? ... for one, the young man-child is now one teeny bit closer to "man" period... or so he will tell you! Though I don't promote this line of thinking ... certainly not! Still ... Saturday morning he cajoled me into accompanying him for the second time to take his written driver's test, and me thinking, well, he'll probably fail it again since he refuses to study so no big deal ... then ... I had this idea! I told him if he failed, he had to pay me back the $20. That'd stop him in his tracks. Only fair, right? But... shockingly... he agreed with little more than pursed lips. He went off to the little computer cubical to take his test and I went for coffee and as I was stepping out of the coffee shop, latte in hand, I had a small epiphany ... he's going to ace the test a voice said. You'd think if God was going to talk with you She'd tell you about something that didn't cost money!

When I got back to the DMV or is it DOT now ... whatever they call themselves these days, latte in hand, there he stood all by himself up at the counter chatting to one of the wonderful federal employees and she (the federal employee) was smiling and looking as if she were quite happy to be in that conversation instead of looking at her computer screen and frowning, which seemed very, very STRANGE. I raced up to the desk, "I'm back! I'm the mother! Oh my god! What happened?" I panted. The federal employee frowned and looked back at her computer screen (did I just miss something?) ... guess what, he said, I can take the drive test in 20 minutes! Someone just cancelled! Can you believe my luck? No ... I can't believe MY luck (I only thought this last bit, while I smiled encouragingly, realizing I was out a minimum of twenty bucks! I was also wondering what the maximum might be.)

Waiting for the nice lady (we hoped) who would judge his abilities to join the ranks of the safe and careful American driver, he decided he would practice his parallel park. Like a true champ, he executed every step perfectly except for turning on the windshield wipers instead of the indicator light ... heh, heh... oops! I burst out laughing... feeling as though I'd just stepped inside a Monty Python skit, and he in turn giggled hysterically! Not good. Hysterical laughter is, as I'm sure you are aware, unbearably infectious and I immediately realized I must pick myself up off the floor boards and maintain a serious demeanor, which meant getting as far away from him as possible because my sympathetic nervous energy (its hard being a mother!) was pushing him over the edge of sanity which is not a good condition to be in when taking a driving test. Maybe I should just go wait inside, I said. Good idea.

In the end, the nice lady passed him. First try! And him grinning from ear to ear with a thumbs up as he swaggered in the door. That'll be $25 the lady behind the counter said, and I planted two bills down and smiled. Before I put my pocket book away, will you folks be wanting any more of my money, I asked. This new Federal employee had no sense of humor and merely considered me as if she hadn't noticed me before nor planned to ever again. Her hand smacked down on the $25 as if it had been hers all along.

When can I get insured? He asked on the way home, happy as a clam in muck.



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